Could “Going with the Flow” cost you your autonomy?
It’s something I hear often as a doula:
“I want an unmedicated birth… but I’m just going to go with the flow.”
And hey, if “going with the flow” is your vibe, I truly respect that. But when it comes to giving birth within the medical system, it’s important to understand what that actually means, so you can decide if that’s really your plan, or if it’s just a placeholder for not planning at all. (Because no plan is still a plan, right?)
Let’s break this down a little…
The Reality of “Going With the Flow”
When you give birth in the hospital system and opt to “go with the flow,” what often ends up happening is:
You don’t receive individualized care.
You agree to every routine check and intervention—often without fully understanding or questioning them.
You hand over your autonomy and accept a one-size-fits-all approach to one of the most life-changing experiences you’ll ever have.
And this isn’t about fear it’s about informed choice.
What Does the Evidence Say?
A 2020 study published in the Journal of Clinical Epidemiology found that only 9.9% of medical treatments are supported by high-quality evidence.
That means much of what’s routinely recommended during birth may be based on outdated protocols, institutional policies, or someone else’s “expert” opinion, not necessarily what’s best for you and your baby.
The industrialized obstetric model often focuses on what could go wrong instead of supporting what’s going right. If we approach birth expecting everything to go wrong, we lose sight of just how powerful and physiological the birthing process really is.
You Are the Expert on Your Body
You know your body. You know your baby. And no one is more qualified to advocate for what feels right to you than you.
But to do that confidently, you need tools and support. So if you’re realizing “go with the flow” might not be your plan after all, here are some ways to shift gears:
4 Simple Ways to Take Charge of Your Birth Experience
Take an out-of-hospital birth class that focuses on physiological birth. These classes often cover what’s actually happening in your body and how to work with it, not against it.
Hire a doula who takes time prenatally to support your preparation for birth and postpartum—and helps you create a birth plan that aligns with your values.
Learn about common birth interventions. Decide for yourself what feels appropriate and have a conversation with your OB or midwife about their usual practices.
Make sure your birth partner is on board. Your partner should know your preferences and be ready to advocate alongside you when needed.
You Deserve Individualized, Respectful Care
Birth doesn’t need to feel like a process you passively experience, it can be one you actively shape. Whether you’re planning a home birth, a hospital birth, or something in between, your voice matters. Your plan matters.
And the more you know, the more empowered you are to actually go with the flow, YOUR flow.